Okay Fine Whatever

Courtenay Hameister captivated audiences for nearly a decade as the host of the popular public radio program Live Wire, interviewing notable thinkers in a variety of fields. Behind the scenes she felt overwhelmed throughout her tenure, by preparation for the next show and onstage nerves. The unpredictability inherent in interviewing turned out to be a perfect trigger for what she later discovered was generalized anxiety disorder.

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Leaving Live Wire and confronting her anxiety became the premise for Hameister’s debut book, Okay Fine Whatever: The Year I Went From Being Afraid of Everything to Only Being Afraid of Most Things. The Sophie Fund’s “Readings on Mental Health” series featured Hameister on October 14 at Buffalo Street Books, where she read from her first chapter “Stepping Down” and discussed her experiences with anxiety in a Q&A session afterwards.

Through candid and precise prose, Hameister’s book gives a nuanced perspective on the nature of generalized anxiety and ways to both explore and challenge its pathology. Her writing recorded her encounters with things that scared her, the page becoming a place for both problem-solving and reflection. “Maybe I could retrain my brain the way you train a baby’s,” she thought. “We take a child out in the world and show them this is here to hurt you, and these things, like teddy bears, are for fun. Our anxious brains tend to get those things mixed up. I was training my brain to become optimistic.”

She describes her endeavors as “exposure therapy to the whole world”; from a sensory deprivation tank to time with a professional cuddler to 28 first dates to a Build Your Own Burrito night at a sex club, Hameister engaged with her fears by challenging the way she related to them.

“The one shift that happened was just one word,” she recalled. “Before if someone asked me to do something that seemed strange or new or gave me a little dread, I would say ‘Oh that sounds terrifying’ pretty much every time. And now, after it’s all over, I just say, ‘Well that sounds interesting.’” This adaptation, says Hameister, removed the judgment, allowing her to remain open to whatever might come her way.

Despite these shifts in her thinking, Hameister was quick to acknowledge that this book was not written to document a monumental, immediate transformation. In fact, this trope found in so many memoirs and movies doesn’t quite capture the true nature of negotiating one’s anxiety. The reason being, she explains, is that “change is frustratingly incremental. Most of the time as we’re changing, we don’t even notice it.” And her memoir is not afraid of unveiling this slowness. The book is less about overcoming anxiety and more about living with it.

In the Q&A session, Hameister offered some of her takeaways about anxiety. For example, she describes how generalized anxiety—“this free-floating anxiety that’s there all the time just waiting for something to attach to (and unfortunately there’s always something to attach to)”—impacts her ability to write. It became an additional obstacle to finishing the book, though she was not without potential antidotes. Sometimes she simply told herself, “I am going to write a terrible first draft.”

Another part of the process is creating new neural pathways around writing. She remembers her therapist explaining, “When you’re creating a new neural pathway, imagine yourself in the jungle, pushing through these leaves and they’re wet and horrible, and you can barely get through it. This is the first time you go through. The second time you go through, you have a machete, so it’s a little bit easier. And the third time you go through, you’ve got a couple friends, and really the tenth time you go through you have rototiller.”

Hameister also addressed the importance of normalizing anxiety. So often, people think they are the only ones that struggle. “If people could talk about mental illness the way we talk about breaking a bone or lupus disease, it would be life changing to let people know you are struggling,” she said. Additionally, reframing anxiety’s purpose can be helpful to this conversation. She proposes we think of anxiety as a signal that allows us to recognize, “Oh I care a lot about this. It’s really important to me.”

Hameister opens a doorway for those looking to better understand their own anxious tendencies or better relate to those in their life who have them. Okay Fine Whatever wonderfully highlights the value of people living with mental illness writing narratives that provide true insight into the mental health challenges all around us.

—By Margaret McKinnis

Margaret McKinnis, an intern at The Sophie Fund, is a junior at Ithaca College majoring in Writing and minoring in English and Honors. She is a nonfiction editor at Stillwater, a student literary magazine, and an assistant director of the New Voices Literary Festival.

“Readings on Mental Health” is presented by the Mental Health Association in Tompkins County, hosted by Buffalo Street Books, and sponsored by The Sophie Fund.

A Plan to Manage My College Mental Health

Last semester was the definition of rough. I faced consistent academic, social, and personal obstacles that I wasn’t at all prepared for. And the crazy part is, these stressors don’t even take into account the issues that I faced as a member of the Ithaca and Cornell University communities.

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Amber Haywood, chair of the Mental Health Summit at Cornell University

From the rumors of a potential school shooter on campus to an unfortunate death of a fellow student on graduation weekend, there was a lot to handle as a freshman. All these incidents took a toll mentally.

To cope with the chaos, I incorporated some mental health strategies into my life; and while some worked well, others ended up hurting me in the long run. Here are few of the methods that worked well for me:

  • Exercise! My personal favorites are group fitness classes (try spinning!). While I’m not always excited to work out, I learned that exercising indeed releases endorphins, which reduces your perception of pain and triggers a positive feeling in the body.
  • Social Media Cleanse! After not having access to wifi or phone service for a portion of winter break, I realized how much time I spent on social media. The time that I was on social media could easily have been devoted to something more important and useful to me. Not to mention, that by spending so much time on social media, I was comparing myself to students, friends, and people I didn’t even know that well. All these toxic thoughts of comparison were weighing on me more than I even realized. After deleting social media completely, I found that I was able to concentrate more time on homework and, consequently, saw my academics improve significantly. I realize that this is a difficult task for some, so an easier alternative is to limit yourself to a singular social media platform, or to limit the amount of time you spend on social media (e.g. only giving yourself two hours a day on it, or not checking social media an hour before you go to sleep/after you wake up).
  • Schedule “Me” Time! Blocking out specific times for relaxing, Netflixing, reading for pleasure, etc. Scheduling time in for self care helps make you more accountable for actually practicing regular self care! I personally block out an hour, normally when I know I get tired. Trying out different times and knowing your body rhythm will help when you feel yourself running low on energy!
  • Getting Away From Campus! This may be the hardest one physically and financially, but for me, it’s the most rewarding. Seeing new sites and being in a different setting has renewing effects on the mind. This can be catching a fan bus to a football game in Philly, taking a road trip to the nearest Chick-fil-A or even finding a new hiking trail around Ithaca!

I’ve developed many techniques for improving mental health due to my involvement in Building Ourselves through Sisterhood and Service (B.O.S.S.), a Cornell student organization. Come share your mental health practices, while learning from others, at B.O.S.S.’s annual Mental Health Summit taking place at Cornell from November 9–11. The summit is free and open to any self-identifying womyn of color.

The keynote address is by Dior Vargas, the Latina feminist mental health activist and creator of the People of Color and Mental Illness Photo Project. Workshops will tackle subjects including relationships, depression, body image, and communicating with professionals and family about mental health issues.

Click here for more information about the summit and how to register. Click here for more information about the summit and how to register.

–By Amber Haywood

Amber Haywood ’21 is the chair of the Mental Health Summit hosted by Building Ourselves through Sisterhood and Service (B.O.S.S.) at Cornell University from November 9–11

Send Silence Packing @ Ithaca College

Backpacks were scattered all over Ithaca College’s Emerson Suites on Monday. No, this high-traffic space wasn’t a convenient dumping ground for students taking mid-terms or heading to the cafeteria for a meal. The backpacks were a powerful exhibition called “Send Silence Packing,” a suicide prevention initiative traveling to American college campuses. The 1,100 backpacks represent the average number of college students who die by suicide every year.

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“Send Silence Packing” is a project of Active Minds, a national organization promoting student mental health through branch chapters at colleges around the county. Ithaca College’s chapter, led by co-presidents Zoe Howland and Mikaela Vojnik, hosted Monday’s exhibition in Emerson Suites.

The display is immersive and thought provoking. Each backpack includes a personal story or a quote from someone who has lost a loved to suicide. “I feel like the visual display really invokes a certain feeling that just talking about it doesn’t necessarily do,” Howland said.

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“There were a lot of people who came through on the way to their classes and were really intrigued with all the stories that were on the backpacks,” said Active Minds member Kristin Butler. She said that the event was an opportunity for “continuing the conversation on campus, which is great.”

Junior anthropology major Paige Twinning commented: “Powerful and important. The visual representation and personal profiles of individuals really made an impact.”

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“Send Silence Packing,” which has visited almost 200 campuses and reached nearly a million people, is intended to generate discussions about suicide and provide information about suicide prevention resources.

Ithaca College’s day-long event, sponsored in part by The Sophie Fund, began at 7:30 a.m. and included an evening Speak Your Mind panel discussion on suicide prevention moderated by Active Minds member Kelly Madden. Participating in the panel were representatives from key local mental health organizations, including the Suicide Prevention and Crisis Service, Mental Health Association in Tompkins County, National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Finger Lakes, and the Advocacy Center. Said Kaylee McGillicuddy, a sophomore psychology major: “It’s just nice to know there are people who care.”

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Based on surveys, the Active Minds national organization reports that most people attending the “Send Silence Packing” installation are left wanting to know more about mental health, and 95 percent of attendees rate the experience as powerful.

Active Minds has chapters or other operations on more than 600 college campuses across the country. In June, a study of Active Minds published in the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry reported that student peer organizations’ activities can improve college student mental health attitudes and perceived knowledge and significantly increase helping behaviors.

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The Fall 2015 National College Health Assessment, in a survey of 19,861 students at more than 40 American schools, reported that 35.3 percent “felt so depressed that it was difficult to function.”

According to the 2017 annual report of the Center for Collegiate Mental Health, data collected from 147 college counseling centers showed that 34.2 percent of 161,014 college students seeking counseling in the 2016–17 academic year had “seriously considered attempting suicide.” The rate increased for the seventh year in a row, up from 24 percent in the 2010-11 academic year. The data also showed that 10 percent of the students seeking counseling had actually made a suicide attempt.

—By Margaret McKinnis

Margaret McKinnis, an intern at The Sophie Fund, is a junior at Ithaca College majoring in Writing and minoring in English and Honors. She is a nonfiction editor at Stillwater, a student literary magazine, and an assistant director of the New Voices Literary Festival.

[If you or someone you know feels the need to speak with a mental health professional, you can contact the Crisisline (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) at 1-800-273-8255 or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741-741.]

Cupcake Joy, 2018 Edition

Enjoy a photo gallery from the 3rd Annual Ithaca Cupcake Baking Contest organized by The Sophie Fund in the Ithaca Commons on October 13, 2018.

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Tough competition, true temptation!

 

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The Grand Prize Winner: “Strawberry Surprise Cupcakes” with a cored whole strawberry filled with salted butterscotch, topped by a brown sugar cream cheese frosting, decorated with a chocolate fan, sliced strawberry, mint leaves, and a mini chocolate strawberry macaron.

 

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Grand Prize Winner Zoe Dubrow enters her cupcakes at the registration desk

 

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Zoe Dubrow receives the Grand Prize Award from Debbie Lazinski of GreenStar Natural Foods Market ($250 GreenStar gift certificate)

 

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Natalie McCaskill-Myers’s pumpkin apple spice cupcakes with black cat decorations

 

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Rhonda Williamsee’s mint chocolate “cocoa coma” cupcakes

 

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Ella Kain’s lemon cupcakes with buttercream frosting

 

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Mary Sever-Schoonmaker “If You Like Pina Colada” cupcakes

 

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Kyra O’Toole’s Youth Award-winning chocolate cheesecake cupcakes with an Oreo crust

 

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Aušra Milano’s amaretto chocolate cupcakes decorated with a flower arrangement

 

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Contest producer Mickie Quinn confers with student volunteer from Cornell University

 

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All in the family

 

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Handle with care!

 

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Let the judging begin!

 

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Drum roll, please! The Finalists!

 

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VIP Judge: Yuko Jingu of Akemi Food

 

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VIP Judge: Melissa Kenny of Sweet Melissa’s Ice Cream Shop

 

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VIP Judge: Daleila Norman of GreenStar Natural Foods Market

 

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VIP Judge: Kathleen Sherman Morrow of Felicia’s Atomic Brewhouse and Bakery

 

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Kitana Scofflaw of The House of Merlot

 

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Sgt. Cupcake Rob Natoli

 

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SingTrece & Kenneth McLaurin sing their Ithaca rendition of “New York, New York”

 

Nellia Mattson

Nellia Mattson performs with her ukulele

 

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Volunteers from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Central New York Chapter

 

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Volunteers from Cornell University’s Alpha Phi Omega Gamma Chapter

 

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Volunteers from Cornell Minds Matter

 

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Matthew Jirsa, co-president of Cornell Minds Matter

 

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Winnie Ho, president of Cornell University’s Alpha Phi Omega Gamma Chapter

 

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Charles Niven of the Mental Health Association in Tompkins County

Cornell Task Force Demands “Gold Standard” for Student Mental Health

The student-run Cornell Mental Health Task Force has issued a set of recommendations for immediate steps to improve the campus climate and services for mental health, and called on the university administration to ensure that an upcoming comprehensive review of student mental health is “independent, thorough, and transparent,” and involves “full student participation.”

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Statue of Ezra Cornell in the Arts Quad

The recommendations addressed to the Cornell administration proposed three immediate initiatives to be carried out in two phases, covering improvements in student mental health services, mental health education and collaboration within the Cornell community, and academic policies and practices that impact student mental health.

The task force also called for the creation of “an official Standing Committee on Mental Health,” comprised of task force members and other students, “tasked with overseeing ongoing implementation of best practices for student mental health, reviews, and serving as a liaison between students and their needs and the administration.”

The task force, co-chaired by Matthew Jirsa ’19 and Joanna Hua ’20 and consisting of more than 20 students, issued the recommendations earlier this week after a six-month study and following an October 19 public forum where draft recommendations were presented and discussed.

Specific recommendations of the task force included:

Hiring more psychological counselors to accommodate rising numbers of students seeking services; reducing wait times for counseling appointments; requiring counselors to undergo diversity training; improving access to off-campus psychological services; requiring mandatory suicide prevention training for Resident Advisors; requiring mandatory mental health training and an accountability system for faculty; introducing a standardized grading system to reduce academic stress; creating a student mental health advocate; providing support to students at every stage of the process for taking a leave of absence for mental health reasons.

In its letter, the task force said it sought to collaborate with the administration “to mutually work towards profound change, with the ultimate end of making Cornell a standout institution where mental health is holistically and completely championed, academically, clinically, and culturally.”

The task force applauded recent announcements by President Martha E. Pollack and Vice President Ryan Lombardi that the administration intends to launch a “comprehensive” review of student mental health. The task force added: “We call on the administration to ensure that this review is independent, thorough, and transparent, includes full student participation, and strives to become a ‘gold standard’ for addressing mental health on the college level to which other universities can look for guidance.”

The task force commended many aspects of Cornell’s current mental health efforts, noting the hiring of additional Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) counselors, the recent formation of a broad-based campus Coalition on Mental Health, and ongoing support for peer-to-peer programs aimed at reducing stress. “These measures are a fantastic start, but with high wait times [for CAPS appointments] and recent incidents of suicide attempts, we are far from where we need to be,” the task force said.

The task force said that Cornell’s “Ivy-League culture of hyper-competition and ‘stress Olympics’ is centered in the middle of a rural health system—a situation that creates a high demand for mental health services despite rural issues of lower mental health professional supply.” It cited Cornell Pulse data indicating that four of 10 undergraduates surveyed were “unable to function academically for at least a week in the past year due to depression, stress, or anxiety” and that 12 percent of surveyed Cornell students had seriously considered suicide within the past year.

A summary of the Cornell Mental Health Task Force key recommendations:

Mental Health Services

—Develop a system of intaking students that is more efficient, shortening wait times and improving access while also ensuring quality of care.

—Pledge to hire new counselors in the event that the number of students seeking CAPS services continues to rise in the coming semesters/years.

—Seek input from the student body concerning whether or not the current counselors are diverse and adequately understand a broad range of mental health concerns.

—Require all counselors to obtain a baseline of diversity training in order to accommodate for the diversity and intersectionality of mental health concerns.

—Share estimated wait times for appointments with counselors on the Cornell Health website for transparency.

—Create a mechanism for anonymous referrals of persons in distress to mental health resources before extreme actions such as calling the police.

—Establish a clear and straightforward method for switching counselors within Cornell Health if requested.

—Create of a page on the Cornell Health website that addresses considerations that are made when matching patients with counselors, clearly outlines the process for switching to a new counselor, and lists resources for students who are unhappy with their care (i.e. patient advocates).

—Allow students to state their counselor preferences (demographic, personality type, etc.) during the 15-minute phone screening and accommodate their requests.

—Create an anonymous outlet for students to voice complaints about their counselor to be utilized in counselor training.

—Enable students to change counselors by speaking with a receptionist or patient advocate, or by sending an email to their counselor.

—Create an Off-Campus Therapy Referral Network to sustain relationships with therapists in the Ithaca community.

—Provide an easily accessible list of off-campus therapists accepting Cornell students and accepting the Student Health Plan including those willing to offer prorated/discounted prices.

 

Mental Health Education and Collaboration

—Create a mental health program for Residential Advisors covering mental illnesses and substance abuse and including mandatory QPR suicide prevention training.

—Provide basic mental health information and learning to incoming freshmen while underscoring support from various communities at Cornell.

—Create a Standing Committee on Mental Health that helps implement initiatives and objectives, and serves as a liaison between students and administrators about mental health services and concerns.

—Establish mental health training for all faculty and staff members, and advisors/administrators, including concise mandatory manuals and training programs.

—Establish a system of accountability for professors to be more cognizant and understanding of mental health issues among students.

 

Academic Policies and Mental Health

—Appointment of a Mental Health Advocate who can represent students in academic settings where mental health is a factor in academic success or stress.

—Present students with their rights and when necessary have the Mental Health Advocate serve as a facilitator between students and professors.

—Ensure that professors understand mental health complexities and accommodate students as needed.

—Implement a standardized and transparent grading scheme as a method of course stress reduction.

—Provide housing aid to students taking a leave of absence for mental health reasons who don’t have supportive households to return to.

—Provide a system of support and contact for students at every stage of the leave of absence process.