Why I Walk for Suicide Prevention

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. Ithaca will host its seventh annual “Out of the Darkness” community walk and fundraiser on Saturday, September 15 in support of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). The walk takes place at the Cass Park Waterfront Trail, with registration starting at 10:30 a.m.

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Ithaca’s “Out of the Darkness” walk for suicide prevention

“Out of the Darkness” walks are held all across the country to raise funds for new research, educational programs, public policy advocacy, and supporting survivors of suicide loss. The walks raise awareness about suicide prevention, and support free education programs and survivor reach-out programs in our local community. Our fundraising goal for the Ithaca walk is $25,000.

I will be walking again on September 15 because I am a survivor of my dad’s suicide 12 years ago. He ended his life on November 28, 2005. I felt at the time that my world was crashing.

I was not sure how I could live without my dad, my hero, my other half. Before my father’s death, two of my cousins died by suicide. Ronnie took his own life when I was a little girl, and David died by suicide when I was a senior in high school.

Suicide and depression were never spoken about in my family. They were hushed subjects. Today, I am changing that. I am speaking out, educating, and erasing the stigma.

When my dad died, I was lost. I felt alone in the world. I could not think. My dad and many of my family members suffered and do suffer from depression. I never comprehended the impact of mental illness until the day my dad was gone. I myself went into a deep depression. I was losing my own fight. My husband and friends became worried. A few friends that insisted that I needed therapy. I fought them, but ended up going.

I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I struggled for many years with thoughts of suicide and a suicide attempt. I have learned, though, that I am not alone. I have a support network and a family within AFSP.

So here I am, today, serving as the co-chair of Ithaca’s 2018 “Out of the Darkness” walk. Every day, I am stronger. Every day, the sun is brighter. I have all my happy memories, a memory box that I go to for strength. At the walk on September 15, I will be wearing gold beads for the loss of my dad, purple beads for the loss of family and friends, green beads for my own struggle, teal beads because I have loved ones who struggle, and blue beads because I support the cause.

—By Stacy Ayres

Stacy Ayres is the board chair of the Central New York Chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. She lives in Freeville where she is mom to a 16-year-old, 13-year-old, and a 9-year-old. She operates Little Sunshine Daycare, and attends all types of concerts, and loves to cheer at her children’s sporting events.

Come along and bring your family and friends to join Ithaca’s “Out of the Darkness” community walk on Saturday, September 15, at the Cass Park Waterfront Trail. Start raising funds as an individual or as a team by registering online now (or also at the registration desk in Cass Park Pavilion on September 15). For more information, call (607) 327-3370 or email: ithacaafsp@gmail.com

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[If you or someone you know feels the need to speak with a mental health professional, you can contact the Crisisline (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) at 1-800-273-8255 or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741-741.]